i'll rip your head off

yeah its usually just an expression we say or most likely yell in anger but never something you think you'll actually do .at least not on purpose .i'm sure i've lost you already so i guess i'll explain .yesterday my dad had gone somewhere and when he got back he opened the front door and yelled "hey kids yall wanna see a dove up close" calling to my nephews .and then to me "hey aaron come look at this bird under our mail box" .our mail box is set in front of our window so the bird was on the window seal .as i walked out i turned and looked at it and it was just sitting there .shaking

i'm a caring person by nature and i wanted to help the bird if i could which by the way turns out it was a pigeon not a dove .anyway i came back inside and grabbed my leather gloves and a box to put the pigeon in .went back outside and started to pick up the bird to place him in the box knowing he was hurt just by his sitting there but i wasn't ready for what i saw next (if you have a weak stomach, you might not want to read on)

as i gently tried to pick up the bird and put him in the box i see that he has a half dollar sized hole in his chest area .on the right side in front of his wing .at that point i sent the boys inside .and i knew i had to put the poor thing out of its misery .so i came back inside and asked my girlfriend (that's an animal person) what the most humane way to kill the bird would be .she said to break its neck .so i went back out there and gently grabbed the pigeon's body in one hand and then his head in the palm of the other with his neck in between my fingers and i twisted at least one full revolution and bent down at the same time .now i know birds have very flexible necks but i heard it crack several times .i thought my job was done and so i set the bird down only for it to flex its neck and stand up and run into the corner away from me

i felt so bad knowing i just hurt it rather then putting it out of its misery like i was trying .so .i grabbed the bird once again the same way as before but this time i knew i had to try differently so i not only pinched his neck but i simultaneously pulled trying to separate its vertebra to the point it broke .and it certainly broke .because i accidentally ripped his head right off .blood squirted every from out of his neck as his heart kept pumping all over the door frame, my hands and arms and puddled on the porch .i dropped his head on the porch next to his now lifeless body and pool of blood and i saw him looking at me till his consciousness (if bird have consciousness) left him as his eye slowly closed .i know i did the right thing .but i still feel bad about it